Money is typically cited as the number one source of arguments for couples and those arguments are the best indicator of divorce. Not surprisingly, couples often don’t feel comfortable talking about money. In fact, many therapists say that couples find it easier to talk about sex versus the even more difficult topic of money.
Written with couples in mind, this concise and informative guide helps break down the barrier to talking about money, helping couples address the topic in a positive, productive, non-judgmental way. The guide is and is designed to be used with Money Habitudes cards (sold separately) and can also be used with the instructional DVD.
Money Habitudes are the automatic habits and attitudes underlying all our money-related decisions and actions. And when two sets of Money Habitudes get together, the results can be rewarding ... or challenging! Whether you're considering making a long-term commitment or have been together for many years, Money Habitudes cards can help you have more productive, positive conversations about money topics such as how you save, spend, earn, invest, go into debt and give away money.
The guide is typically used by couples doing the activity on their own or as a self-study resource in premarital and marriage enrichment classes and in the context of marriage mentorship and marriage sponsor programs. It offers a structured approach to the Money Habitudes activity and addressing joint money management issues.
Why do couples use Money Habitudes cards and what do they get from the activity?
- Because it feels like a social game, people relax and engage around what is a very taboo topic.
- The tactile, hands-on card game format really sets people at ease and has been especially well received by men.
- Because so many of the statements open the door to further explanation and storytelling, the activity offers couples a great way to get to know each other and their receive backgrounds even beyond simple financial influences; it’s an excellent date night activity.
- Couples see that they have legitimate differences in how they view and use money and they come to see and respect the other's perspective. They also often recognize unseen strengths in their partner.
- Couples develop greater trust and understanding of one another.
- Couples find that they improve their communication and understanding elsewhere in the relationship because money touches on – and is often a proxy for – so many other important issues like power, control, freedom, status, generosity.
- People find that they improve their communication and understanding elsewhere in their lives (with kids, a spouse, a business partner, etc.) because money touches on – and is often a proxy for – so many other important issues like power, control, freedom, status, generosity.
- It gives people a non-threatening forum to reveal embarrassments, secrets (like mounting credit card debt) and perceived slights around money that otherwise would remain bottled up.
- Couples equip themselves with a common, non-threatening language for the short- and long-term, rather than resort to destructive name-calling.
- They put a plan in place to manage their money better. That may mean feeling comfortable to make a budget, share duties like paying the bills or meeting with a financial planner.
The guidebook is written for couples at any stage of the relationship and no financial background is needed. It will:
- Guide couples through the Money Habitudes sorting activity and interpretation.
- Uncover the real issues that lead to conflict and keep you from reaching your goals.
- Identify the strengths you both bring to the discussion and how your Money Habitudes complement and balance each other.
- Include information on respectful conflict and setting SMART goals.